I'm so not in love

So, I came to a horrible conclusion this Thanksgiving break. I don't know what KIND of love it is, but I in fact am in love which someone. To whether or not I will ever fully admit what kind of love it is, that is behind closed lips. I WANT to think it's because he's like a father to me, and what I'm feeling is just fatherly-son love, since I've never really felt like that towards my own dad. Even if it is because I actually "love" him, he shall be no more than my second father, and I'm 100% content with that. In fact, I wouldn't ever have it any other way. I feel sick to my stomach over all of this, but I don't know what to do about it. I can't very well control it, and I've never nor will I ever act on it, but it just feels like I've done something wrong, and I probably have. Anyways, no one will ever know who he is, if he;s someones father or older or younger brother because I will not give that out because I know if I do, my life would be Hell, so we'll keep the cat in the bag for now.

How about school? Well, everyone thinks I have retarded sinuses because I told everyone I had allergies and that's why my eyes were wet...heh, let 'em believe it. If they knew I was crying...meh, who the hell cares anymore? I hate Mr. Martin with such a fucking passion. He argues with people but has no basis for his arguments so he looks like an ass, which he is, and not only that, but he gives out mini projects and they are due in 4 days. We need newspaper for the projects, I get the newspaper on Sundays. Sometimes I'm without newspaper, and so I fail. I hate him. Just 7 more weeks and I'm done with him for good. I can't fucking wait.